Sitting on the edge of match side for my first world championships and Im stunned by the absurdity of it all. Maybe you want to call it culture shock, but it doesnt feel like it. It just feels like im watching these matches like I am Alice in Wonderland.

I look down and see an electronics advertisement with two kids in their underwear, one giving a thumbs up and the other eating an ice cream cone. How does two kids in their underwear have anything to do with electronics? Does kids in their underwear produce the same result as hot women in beer commercials. If so Im truly in a weird and probably dangerous place.

I look up and see TC Dantzler wrestling and his coaches coaching. They have the same type of look on their face that I might have. I have a hard time believing my eyes as the referees take the match away from the guy. One mistake after another makes me feel like it isnt a mistake. I truly feel like im Alice. The American in me wants to do something, say something. I begin to shout and Jason Bryant warns me that if I shout they will expel me. Im dumb founded. This is a wrestling match not a lecture hall or one of the Azerbaijan's president's political conferences.

The reality is, is that there is no reality here and I am Alice and this is a wonderland. It doesnt make sense and dont try to make sense of it. Fila simply goes by a whole set of rules and standards that waiver, bend and break with the weather.

What I feel like must be a hundreth of the feeling that Harry Lester must be feeling. A guy who works for years to have a chance at being a World Champion gets that chance stolen in the semi final match against an Azerbaijanian. Does the fact that the dictator of Azerbaijan happened to be at the event have anything to do with it? Stupid question..Irrelavant question..there are no facts, no objectivity in this country and in this sport.

The only way your going to win as an American is the way Brad Vering (84 Kg Greco) won in his second round match. Brute force and power, a decision so decisive even a referee looking to steal it couldn't possibly find a way. He walks off the mat like he just ran through a brick wall and didnt even feel it.

Moral of the story:
If your an American you better not leave anything up to the Queen in this Baku Wonderland.

A few years ago at the Districts, I saw a young man crying in the hallway. This boy was devastated. As I walked past, he looked up at me and I saw his eyes. I recognized the kid because I had just officiated the match that had eliminated him from going to the state tournament; he had lost 4-3. His eyes were tearstained and bloodshot. His heart broke. I know that look. I know those feelings, both as a wrestler and as a dad of a wrestler.
I stopped and asked if he was ok or was there anything I could do for him. He sniffled a bit and through the heaves of his sobs, he said he was fine. I smiled and said "right". I asked if could sit beside him and chat a bit. He didn't say no, so I slid down the wall and sat beside him.

Here was a kid, who had just lost an important wrestling match. Yes he was a senior, and yes, he had come to the realization that his wrestling career was over. What he truly wanted down deep was another chance.

I knew he wrestled his heart out, he worked hard, he shot and re-shot but it was not enough. The other kid was just 1 point better. I remember the desperation at the very end of the match, trying to escape and tie the match up, it reminded me of a fly that was snared in a spiders web, struggling in vain to escape with all he had, but alas?to no avail. The end was near and he knew it. I saw the inner collapse as I blew the whistle to end the bout. He shook hands with tears already forming, a good sportsman however all the way.

As this kid walked off the mat, I saw his coach shake his hand and pat him on the back and then that coach moved on. No one else said a word to him. No one shared this moment, this moment of loss.

I went out and got some water and that is when I saw him down the hallway?.alone.

As I sat beside him in that hallway, I told him that I too had been where he was and that believe it or not, he would recover from this and move on. I realized that though there are always lessons to be learned, this was not the time nor the place to teach, it was simply a time to sit.

After a few minutes, I told him I had to get going and that I hoped he would be ok. I got up, he stood and I put my hand out and we shook hands. I so much wanted to give that kid a hug, but I didn't. I regret that to this day.

A few months later, as I was reminiscing about the season, I thought about that young man and my own son and the trials he faced as a athlete after his mom died.

As I remembered, I thought about dreams, the dreams we all have or had at one time or another and how at some point, we realize we may not fulfill those dreams.

I share this with every person who ever dared to dream and lost. Know someone who lost something? Share this with them someday. Share your own dream that was lost.

I believe that in everyone's life there comes that one moment, that one clear and concise moment, when the realization, that the dream they have fought so long and so hard for is now shattered into a million tiny pieces.

Each shattered piece, pierces the heart so violently, that even years later, the mere thought of that loss brings the pain of losing that dream as fresh and as hurtful as if it happened only yesterday.
Olympic hopefuls, high school wrestlers, or even that little 7th grade girl not making the cheerleading squad she had dreamt about since she could walk...these are all shattered dreams, and the pain is real, and will live on.
It's that pain, I feel, that makes us cherish the simple and good things in life. It is knowing and feeling for others who are sharing that pain, as you experienced, that brings us together in a very unique way.
I don't ever want to forget the battles, won and lost, that I've had while chasing my dreams. For it is those memories that sustain me sometimes.
I might not of won this or that, or reached a certain level, or was the best of the lot, but I will never forget the journey. It really is the journey that is the prize.

It is within that journey to our dreams that holds the most satisfaction. When it is over?we stand at the end of the line and say to ourselves....I gave my best and my all. That is enough. That alone, all by itself, in the dark of night, when my head is on my pillow, gives my heart solace. That alone?is enough to let me sleep peacefully.

I'll do my dreaming with my eyes wide open, and I'll do my looking back with my eyes closed.

About the author, Fredrick Feeney: Fred, a long time Ohio wrestling official, is a member of the CDWOA, the CWOA and the NWOA, and is a moderator on several popular wrestling discussion forum. Fred's in-depth experience encompasses both scholastic and collegiate levels, having culminated with numerous assignments at the OHSAA State Tournament and NCAA Division II and III Championship finals. Fred and his wife reside in Dublin, Ohio

Ever heard that? Or... ever said that?

I believe one of the greatest traits that any official of any sport must have is simple courage. Courage to make the right call, at the right time, regardless of what level, who is watching, or what the consequences of such action might be.

With the above said, I do believe that 99.99% of the referees on the mat working are truly dedicated, know the rules, are 100% unbiased and apply the rules fair and square.

When I watch a wrestling match, I look at the referee and see if his mechanics are correct, not the wrestlers. I have over the years seen referee's blasted because of a certain call, knowing full well that his call was based on the stated rules.
Because the call didn't go your way, they now become... the worst official ever?

So where does courage come into the equation in wrestling? Yes it could be about stalling or fleeing, but this essay isn't. It's about simply walking onto a mat and doing the right thing based on the rules. Though I have seen many times a call not made because a coach in the corner is already in the ear of the official, telling him the other kid is doing this or that, knowing full well that his kid is the one that is stalling or fleeing, the vast majority of referees make the call based on the proper criteria.
For the young official, he or she doesn't have the required mat time to fully work through all the "bs" that is thrown at them, in order to make the proper call. I personally had a TD call that awhile back though it looked like one kid finished in bounds, I saw both kids were out of bounds at one micro second and yes, it was close, and yes I believe in rewarding the aggressor, but when I see and know that a TD cannot be awarded because of the rules, I can't make that call. Did I get booed? Sure did. Did the coach take me to the table? Sure did. My simple explanation was "they were out of bounds". Why can't that be enough of an explanation?
I saw at the National Duals, one of the greatest working D1 officials (IMHO) and during a TD situation, he didn't give a TD in a very very tight situation, in which to be honest, I might of given it. The TD would of won the match for this team. The offended coach charged the mat and screamed at the official. The official never changed facial expression, never raised his voice, didn't even acknowledge the coach's presence. He simply waited till the tirade was over and calmly notified the table to deduct one team point for USC, then he walked off the mat. Confidence? Unflappability? I say it is courage!
A new young referee boldly walks onto a middle school mat, desperately searching their memory banks to try and remember everything that they were taught in class, and read in the rules book, thinking of all the things that could and might happen and how they will handle things. The new official will at times not make a call based on a pure lack of knowledge versus him trying to stay out of trouble. Mat time will change all that eventually, I hope.

We are all human and will all make mistakes. We all tend to be influenced by outside sources every match, whether we are fully aware of it or not. Referee's must strive to always "do the right thing". The right thing by the way is based solely on the rules. Pretty simple formula.

Think you can call a match?

Next time you watch a match, be it that you are a coach or a parent, do you know what you are really looking at in order to know if a match is poorly officiated...to do so, one must have mastered not only the rules book, but the case book. You need to know what the interps are and what the judgments are for every conceivable situation that can occur.

Have you mastered all these?
Do you truly know what you are looking at and looking for?
You know what good mechanics are and what poor ones are?
You thoroughly understand what is a takedown and what isn't?
You know what "control is sometimes felt" means?
You understand two man mechanics?
You truly know what is illegal and what might be?
When to call it and when not to? You do have a understanding of "tit for tat"?
Are you aware of mat position and which way a certain move will go and which way you need to move in order to be in the proper position?
No doubt you have a intimate grasp on officiating philosophy and know the "when in doubt" type of calls, which way to call certain things.
You also are aware of how to deal with all the different types of coaches? Certainly you know how to deal with a irate dad or worse... an irate mom!
Your have expertise in dealing with bad table help, or not enough table help.
You have a handle on "sticky" situations. Recognizing and reacting to different formations and strategies.
Shall we continue with a complete understanding of stalling and all that is involved with determining that?
Besides dealing with the nuances of the match...I am sure you know how officiate at every level how mechanics might change based on the type move or position right?
I am sure you know 100% of penalty enforcement including what technical violation is versus a illegal hold, and what is blood time and is there "recovery blood time"? Surely you also understand all about potentially dangerous holds and why something is legal versus illegal... correct?
Not to mention... how to award points, pre meet duties, out of bounds situations, near falls, same "situation" in near falls and stalemates.
You been taught how not to listen to some things but hear other things, right?

Are there bad refs out there? I am sure there are some, but until you know exactly what you are looking at, and looking for, please stop looking for an excuse to pin blame.

I know your son or daughter has worked hard to get where they are, but guess what? So has that official who is calling their match. Someone has to win, someone has to lose, we really don't care who it is. Hug your athlete... win or lose, but please... leave the ref alone.

With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.

About the author, Fredrick Feeney: Fred, a long time Ohio wrestling official, is a member of the CDWOA, the CWOA and the NWOA, and is a moderator on several popular wrestling discussion forums. Fred's in-depth experience encompasses both scholastic and collegiate levels, having culminated with numerous assignments at the OHSAA State Tournament and NCAA Division II and III Championship finals. Fred and his wife reside in Dublin, Ohio.

I was all prepared to write about the great wrestling and of course the intense Iowa atmosphere the fans exhibited last weekend at the National Duals, until I met a certain young wrestler waiting with his mom to get back home from Iowa.
We were "stranded" somewhat in Iowa due to a snow and ice storm but the Good Lord does tend to work in mysterious ways and I do believe, He does truly have a plan.
As I sat in the airport, somewhat upset I was late getting home and all that went with that, the mother of a young boy about 10 years old was sitting behind me and leaned over and asked if I was a wrestling coach. She had overheard me talking on my phone about the Duals and wanted to ask a few questions. When I explained I was simple a mere referee and not a coach, instead of looking disappointed, she smiled softly and said her son was a wrestler and was disappointed they didn't get to see the Duals, as they were visiting family in Iowa. She went on to explain that while her son had wrestled for several years, and he had yet to win a match but he was very enthusiastic about the sport. I told her that there is more to life than winning a wrestling match and she gently smiled and she said "Oh yes I agree and Billy doesn't mind at all he just loves to be with his friends."
I looked behind me and there sat a smiling, cheerful 10 year old boy, that just so happened to have Downs Syndrome. His mom introduced us, and I will tell you that I have never met a happier young man. I introduced myself and shook my hand with extreme gusto.
I asked him his favorite takedown, he said he wasn't sure but his mom said he was a "single leg man, just like his dad was". He asked me point blank if I knew Dan Gable. I told him as a matter of fact, that I had just been to the new Dan Gable Museum and you would have thought I told him I had met the Emperor of the World! He was gushing and wanted to know all about it. I told him I had actually taken pictures of many of the exhibits so we sat there together and I scrolled down through each and every one, describing each and every one in great detail. If he asked one question, he asked a thousand! His questions were clear and to the point; wanting to know everything I saw, touched and heard.
As we chatted and looked at the pictures, we talked about wrestling and his favorite moves and then out of the blue,, he wanted to know all about what it is like to be a referee. I started to share a little what is like and then he looked at me in the eye very serious and said : "You know, coaches really do know what's best right?" I looked at him and then he began to giggle. That little matrat laughed because he knew he had got me!
Interspersed between topics, he always went back to talking about Gable, sort of like telling me, "Hey..it's ok to talk about wrestling, but don't forget the main topic here..Gable!" LOL
Before I knew it, it was finally time to board the plane. This young man, with a smile that could very well bring world peace, stood and put his hand out to shake goodbye. I looked at him and told him I wanted more than a simple handshake from this wrestler! He stepped in and hugged me appropriately?in wrestling bearhug! For a second I thought he might suplay me!
As I started to walk away, his mom shook my hand and gave me a quick hug as well and thanked me for spending time with him. I told her through my red eyes that it was truly my pleasure to have spent the time with her favorite wrestler.
As I sat on the plane ride home, I thought about this young wrestler and his positive outlook. Not once did he talk about losing, or getting a bad call or anything, it was all 100% positive. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was that way?
That young wrestler may not win by points, but if winning was based on the size of his heart, he would stand tall on the podium with a shiny gold medal draped around his neck.
Oh yeah, this was suppose to be about the National Duals...they were fine.
"A hero is someone we can admire without apology."
For more information on Down Syndrome, please visit: http://www.ndss.org/
About the author, Fredrick Feeney: Fred, a long time Ohio wrestling official, is a member of the CDWOA, the CWOA and the NWOA, and is a moderator on several popular wrestling discussion forums. Fred's in-depth experience encompasses both scholastic and collegiate levels, having culminated with numerous assignments at the OHSAA State Tournament and NCAA Division II and III Championship finals. Fred and his wife reside in Dublin, Ohio.